How did this Happen?
by Eddieisagirl
Summary: First FanFic. HumanStuck. In their senior year Dave has been Crushing on John for a long time but is afraid to tell his best bro, johns straight! John He cant like dave! hes not a homosexual! His feelings for Dave grow something happens that none of them are ready for. Rated M for future Chapters (Super bad summary also. I'm not great at writing this is just something i want to do)
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: This is my first FanFiction I've written. Sorry if it's bad.**

"Dave! Get up school!"

"Nghh...fine..."

I got up immediately put on my shades, got dressed, went down to meet Bro and Jake. Looks like I interrupted a make-out session, I smirked at the sight of Jake's usually composed face red of embarrassment. Bro seemed to not mind. Pesterchum was lighting up. It was John.

-ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 6:10-

EB: Hi dave! morning! :B

EB: you up?

EB: Dude

TG: Holy shit john, calm your tits dude yeah im up.

EB: okay, well see you at school then :B

TG: no.

EB: what?

TG: not that adorable face, no. i get enough of that when we hang out. no.

EB:...did you just call me adorable?

TG: maybe but its true.

EB: im not adorable Dave

TG: yes you are

EB: No

TG: yes

EB: Im not doing this right now, see you at school dave.

TG: Bye egderp.

-ectobiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 6:21-

"John?"

"Yeah."

Bro just looked at me for a second. He knew I had..feelings for John. Hell everyone knew. except him. The oblivious bastard. The oblivious, cute, buckteethed, smiling, blue ey-Jake was snickering...I felt the heat of blush cover my face. I quickly recomposed myself.

"Shut up Jake"

"Aw Dave, you were thinkin of the young lad am I right?"

"Yeah, so shut up about it."

He stopped and went back to get dressed as he was still in his pajamas. Bro looked at me again.

"Yes?"

"Nothing.."

"Whatever. I'm gonna head to school see ya."

"Bye lil man."

I headed out the door, though it was only six thirty now and I didnt need to be at school until seven. I decided to pester Rose.

-turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering tentcleTherapist [TT] at 6:33-

TG: Rose. You up?

TT:Yes.

TG: okay. um i need to talk to you.

TT: About?

TG: John, but you knew that didn't you.

TT: Of course. Now, what I fail to know is why.

TG: well, we know he's oblivious about it all. and i dont know how he feels about me...

TT: Is this about John's sexuality?

TG: well..yeah.

TT: He says he's Heterosexual

TG: I know. but i...im not.

TT: I know.

TT: I'm sorry Dave I have to go. talk to you later about this okay?

TG: Yeah..See ya rose.

TT: Goodbye Dave.

-turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentcleTherapist [TT] at 6:43-

Well that was a bust, I started walking to school. it took about 30 minutes until i got there, I went to the usual table where all our friends are at before school starts at 7:40. When I got there I bought an AJ and headed to the table KarKat, Feferi, Nepeta, Rose, Aradia, Gamzee, Sollux, Tavros Vriska, Jade,Terezi, Equius, Eridan and Kanaya were all there, Vriska had her feet propped up on the table, Tavros looking very uncomfortable with it. Karkat talking to Gamzee probably about his drug addiction thing. Terezi and Jade were looking something up on her phone, Nepeta, Equius and Feferi were all talking about Fef's new obsession over some book. Aradia was trying to stop Sollux and Eridan from arguing Kanaya was just looking over her schedule. Rose walked up from her seat and came to talk to me.

"Hey Dave, you okay?"

I sipped my AJ before answering her.

"mhm. Wheres John?"

She laughed lightly.

"Not here yet. He just pestered me and said that he was running late. Come take a seat with us."

she took my wrist and pulled me as I followed her to the table and sat down next to her. The others greeted me with Hello's and Hey's, Rose and I began to talk about her aspiring therapist stuff until John showed up.

"Hey guys!"

He was wearing his usual blue T-shirt and shorts. I quickly checked him out before he could notice. His eyes behind his translucent glasses black framed. So blue and piercing, his smile dorky as ever and I felt my heartbeat get faster, I looked away after i mustered a Hey bro. Everyone else said their hellos as he sat next to me,

"So! Who has Home and life studies with Jane?"

Jane was a "Friend" of John's dad, I looked at my schedule. I had her 7th hour. Apparently so did Rose, Gamzee, Feferi, Jade, Karkat, Nepeta, Sollux, Aradia, Eridan, Terezi, Virska and Equius. Kanaya and Tavros both had different teacher that hour.

"Oh great...this will be such an eventful year" Karkat said with so much sarcasm it almost stung.

"Come on Karbro, it's a motherfuckin miracle!" Gamzee Said with a little too much excitement.

Karkat growled at that. we all went to first hour and started out our day until we ended our day in Jane's class.

"This year you will be put to the test of how you will live on your owns. you will have assignments that you've never had and it will challenge you." Jane went on but at that sentence I was scared, I didn't know what she had planned and right then I was fearing something terrible.

 **Well...That was that, I like this idea but i need reviews and things i can do to make this better be a little better at this! i would love to have some input as of what i should do! because im kinda stuck. so help! itd be great, thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note: Again, I need more ideas, pleaseeeeeeeeeeee give them! And if you want the story in someone else's POV just tell me and I'll try!**

 **Disclaimer: I Dont own homestuck! All that belongs to the great Andrew Hussie.**

I got home not even a minute ago and Bro and I are fucking strifing while it's fun I didn't think my afternoon would be like this. About an hour and many bruises later I got to my room and threw my stuff on my bed. my room not dirty but not clean either. my computer was going fuckin crazy and to see it was Karkat... Of course.

-CarcinoGeneticist [CG] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:32-

CG: HEY FUCKASS!

CG: HELLO?

CG: ASSHAT ANSWER ME!

CG: COME ON DAVE

TG: Karkat holy shit chill dude what you want?

CG: I WANTED TO ASK IF YOU'RE OKAY

TG: why wouldn't I be?

CG: BECAUSE...JOHN...

TG: Hey, Karkat. its nice youre worried and shit but im fine.

I was okay. I had dealt with my feelings for John for about 7 years. Why would this year be any different other than the fact that we'll all be going to college soon. Oh god why did I think that? What if we lose touch? What if this year I miss my chance like the rest?!

CG: OKAY...WELL..YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME...BYE DAVE.

TG: Bye Karkat.

-CarcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:12-

_John_

That was a boring day. But it was nice to see all my friends! Also nice to see Dave again though we just hung out a week ago. I got home and smelled something other then cake for once it was so refreshing I couldn't get used to it. Jane was an amazing cook. And she only let dad bake when he was stressed or very upset. so...not as often as it used to be. Though I had gotten used to the smell of cake I did love the smell of pancakes, eggs, and bacon in the mornings and at night whatever Jane felt like cooking. Tonight it was Goulash, and it smelled amazing!

I went to my room which had baby blue walls that never got repainted after I begged Dad to paint it Dark Blue when I was 8 my twin sized bed that had white sheets and a black king sized blanket. Beside my bed was a shelf of my favorite movies (Mostly Nic Cage) My TV was the opposite of my bed on the wall and my computer was at my desk on the right side of my bed. I started heading there when I saw pester chum light up wit Terezi trying to talk to me. I ran right over to chat with her.

-GallowCalibrator [GC] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 15:32-

GC: H3y john wh4ts up?

EB: nothing just got home, you?

GC: 1 n33d3d h3lp on th3 hom3work 4nd thought who b3tt3r th3n john? so h3r3 1 4m.

EB: what homework? who gives homework on the first day of school?!

GC: My Qu3st1on 3x4ctly! 4nd Ch3m1stry w1th Mr. Rob3rts

EB: Oh..i never liked him. whats it about?

GC: you 4nd D4v3

EB: Oh not this again! Terezi you know im not gay!

GC: but you must h4v3 som3 f33lings for him! com3 on john!

EB: no! i wont! plus dave doesnt even like me in that way. and hes not gay either.

GC: Wh4t3v3r. s33 you tomorrow john.

EB: wait, was that all you really wanted?

GC: K1nd4, why?

EB: well...never mind, bye terezi

GC:...Ok4y...by3 john.

-GallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 15:45-

I don't know what she's getting at. Honestly I figured Nepeta would have some sort of shipping grid or shit but Terezi barely does that. And I mean Dave doesn't like me right? why did that possibility make me sad? I'm not gay. And Dave isn't either. He never said he was gay...right? Or did I miss that...I don't know..I went down to eat about 2 hours later. Dad wasn't there, Jane said he had a last minute call from work and had to go in. So her and I ate quietly with little small talk. After that I went to my room and went to play a game or at least I thought, Pesterchum was going off again. I looked at the time and it was like 10 pm and it was Dave.

-turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering ectobiologist [EB] at 22:06-

TG: Hey egderp

EB: Hey Dave

TG: whats up?

EB: nothing, you?

TG: just searching the internet.

EB: can i talk to you?

TG: already are.

EB: Okay so Terezi and i were talking today and she mentioned something that i wanted to ask you.

-Dave-

Oh my shit was this it? was the great " Im not a homosexual" John going to ask me out? My heart was beating fast, sure plenty of girls had asked me out and I obviously said no but someone I knew and liked since 1st grade. I was nervous and scared but of course even in my isolated room I never let it show. What if this has nothing to do with that and I'm giving into false hope? What if its just something stupid and adorable like john? God Damn it Dave just answer the guy

TG: Yeah?...

EB: Are...you...are you gay Dave?

Shit. Fuck, Damn! I punched the wall screaming and I heard Jake coming up to see what was wrong but Bro wouldn't let him, Jake would no doubt ask me about it tomorrow. I stared at the screen my hand bloody from the wall... It was a good 12 minutes before I "Answered him"

TG:...

EB: I didnt mean to ask you something uncomfortable Dave...I was just curious.

TG: what made you ask that?

EB: Terezi, she was talking about something that made me wonder if i missed something from before.

TG: well...

EB: Dave, You know I wont Judge you and this wont change anything right?

Did he know how much I wanted this to change what we had? I wanted more. He didnt, and it hurt.

TG: Yeah...But i guess fuck, yeah im gay.

God it felt like years before i typed that and years before he answered.

EB: Cool, Who else knows?

TG: everyone.

EB: whose everyone?

This poor oblivious kid.

TG: All our friends. Jake, Dirk, everyone. that should know.

EB: oh,

TG: talk to you tommorow john,

EB: no dave wait

-TurntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering EctoBiologist [EB] at 22:21-

EB: Dave!

EB: :(

EB:bye...

_John_

Well fuck. I went to bed feeling...weird, and very in the blues. I didnt realize everyone knew! I didn't want to go off on Dave today though. He was probably scared of telling me though he would hide it. I would go off on him later someday but for now I went to sleep.

_Dave_

I...Was disappointed not in john but myself. I should have saw this coming but my heart...the stupid thing! I punched a wall and went to sleep. I couldn't deal with this shitty day

 **that was chapter two! I tried very hard to keep Dave's personality correct. If i didnt please tell me and I'll change it some. :) thanks for reading see you next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Okay, So... I was going to have smut in this chapter but...I was fangirling too much to make that happen. im sorry. But soon! I promise! Anyway this chapter has a trigger like self-harm...so yeah.**

-Jake-

Oh my! I heard a loud noise coming from Dave's room I was started to get up from my position on the couch with Dirk, I got halfway up the stairs before he persuaded me to come back down I looked at him with worry and he insisted that it was fine.

"Are you sure Love?"

"Very, You can talk to him tomorrow okay? Come back to sit." His eyes held love and sweetness. I went back to him still worried I was caught up in my thoughts when suddenly his soft lips were on my slightly chapped ones. I let him push me on the back of the couch laying down. His familiar, hard, beat up hands going up my body to my face cupping it, I begged for entrance to his mouth and he refused and started kissing my neck, goodness this felt great. I whined some as he kept going though he stopped before it became more heated, I was disappointed wanting more but he led me to bed before I could object. We fell asleep peacefully.

-Dave-

I woke up feeling like shit, I took a shower when Bro felt the need to knock on my door and tell me to hurry because John was here... my mind immediately went to all the horrible things he could tell me. I couldn't handle that. I got out of the shower, clothed myself and put my shades on before going out of the bathroom, I basically ran to my room and locked the door yelling at them it would only take a second. I got something sharp my mind going fuzzy I didn't really know what I was doing until it was too late. My arm was covered in pearls of blood disgusted at what i did i quickly stopped the bleeding put on a different shirt with long sleeves and headed out, I felt dizzy but I hoped i looked normal. John started talking to me as i ignored him and walked past him out the front door he ran after me he caught up panting and I stopped for him.

"D-Dave, what...the...fuck.."

"Sorry Egderp" my voice was sharp...almost angry. I didnt want it that way but we both knew i was trying not to show emotion.

"Dave..."

"John, I'm not having this conversation." I knew what it was going to be. I didn't want this talk about my sexuality again. I couldn't. I wish Rose was here, the girl was basically my sister. She kept me sane and okay.

"Dave, please, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Now that was a lie we both knew wouldn't work.

"Please." he was begging, God why did i have to be this way. so emotionally caged. and against my better judgment i answered his plea.

"I..know you wouldn't treat me any differently but...I couldn't shake all the things you might or could say. it was too much." by this time tears were rolling down my eyes, clearly visible even with the shades.

"Dave...You kn-" I cut him off

"Yes, I know John, but that doesn't change what I thought." we were both in silence when Rose started pestering me.

-TentcleTherapist [TT] began pestering TurnTechGodHead [TG] at 6:22-

TT: Dave.

TG: yeah.

TT: Talk to me.

TG:...John told you didn't he?

TT: Yes.

I glared at John for a second before answering Rose

TG: Rose, I just don't want him to know and he's just that much closer!

TT: I know. But Dave, If he knows...there is a possibility he might return the same feelings.

TG:...I dont know.

I thought about telling her what i did earlier at the house. Keeping things from her was harder than it should be.

TT: Its just a guess Dave,

Fuck it let her know,

TG: Rose I cut this morning

TT: oh?

TG: yeah...Um don't do the therapist thing right now okay? I really just need my sister right now..

TT: Of course Dave, Are you okay?

TG: well...Yeah, kinda, I just I didn't know what i was doing. my head was all fuzzy and shit.

TT: mmm that happens, why did you cut?

TG:...John came over and all the bad things he could say to me... I couldn't handle it.

TT:have you done this before?

TG:no, I thought about it before but this was the first time.

that wasn't a lie, I had thought about cutting when we were in Texas for a while we moved back a year later because the people there were bad. I always was called stupid shit that I had never been called here, My mental state was terrible, and i only ever let rose know that.

TT: I think you should tell John.

TG: No.

TT: Please Dave, talk to him.

TG:...ill try.

TT: thank you, see you in a bit dave.

TG: bye rose.

-TentcleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 6:29-

Fuck...I didnt want to. but i did.

"John."

"Yeah, Dave?"

He looked happy i was talking to him. that smile would fade soon, I'm sure of it.

"I...I cut this morning." I felt like puking.

I was right, the smile he carried a second ago no longer existed.

"Dave...Can..Can i see?"

I was shocked. The boy caught me off guard again. I looked at him he looked serious now. His smiley face was replaced with a face of sorrow, he looked so upset it hurt. I carefully nodded..I pointed to the arm i cut and he took the arm and carefully rolled up the sleeve, he gasped when he saw the new damaged skin there. I looked away, tears threatened to spill, down my face and I wouldn't let them. He took my head and turned it his way, he hugged me. It felt nice, the embrace, I wasn't expecting this. but it was nice. he pulled away far too soon for me. I still needed the hug.

"Dave. Its gonna be okay. I promise" His face still held sadness but it also held something else. in his sapphire eyes he held hope. I smiled lightly at him, His beautiful face i wanted to lean in and kiss him i pulled away before i made that mistake. I got up and stood he did the same.

"Dave. um...wh-" cut him off again.

"I was afraid. I knew you wouldn't say anything, but the slight possibility scared the fuck out of me I didn't know what i was doing until i stopped." He looked horrified.

"John, its not your fault, i was being stupid, okay?" that seemed to calm him down a little he nodded sadly...I felt awful. We walked in silence until Karkat saw us.

"Hey fuckasses why so fucking quiet?"

i looked at john and he answered.

"Uhh Dave and I just kinda-"

"Had what gamzee would call a feelings jam"

He looked at us with understanding but also curiosity.

"What about if you don't mind me asking?"

John looked at me and i nodded saying he could tell the short kid.

"Um, Dave told me he was gay last night and that he..." I nodded to him to go on.

"He also cut this morning."

Karkat looked like he was about to flip his shit.

"YOU WHAT DAVE? WHAT THE FUCK! YOU FUCKASS OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHY? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE THAT KIND OF FUCKING SHIT OKAY? YOU ASSHAT!"

"Hey Karkles, Shut it. I'll explain if you shut the fuck up. okay?" He seemed to shut up fast he still looked like a mini volcano ready to burst but he shut up.

"Well fucking explain then."

"I was worried I was being stupid an-" asshole cut me off.

"OF COURSE YOU WERE BEING STUPID! THAT WAS A FUCKING STUPID, DUMB, RETARDED THING TO DO!"

"Karkat if you don't shut the fucking hell up and let me explain ill punch you." He shut up again.

"I was worried about what john was going to say. He showed up at my door and I felt like he was going to say something that would've hurt me."

He looked at me with his sad, sleep deprived eyes. This seemed to surprise John too. His blue eyes usually full of energy and happiness looked dark like a stormy ocean full of sadness.

"Dave..What the fuck."

"Its stupid i know."

I started running before they could say more, I couldnt keep looking at john when he was so fucking sad! I didnt dare look behind me to see if they were coming after me, I needed out of there. It was my fault John was so sad. It was my fault i did that. I felt like hiding. thats what i did. I didnt go to school, I walked around the city until It was dark. and damn did i pay for that.

-John-

when i got to school I looked for Dave everywhere, i was upset that he had done what he did, it was scary to think that he thought i could or even wanted to hurt him, But i understood. I hoped he would talk to me soon, But when we hugged i felt something different, It was a friendly hug but..his torso was strong and his arms were too, he felt nice...Whoa! What am i thinking!? Dave cant like me like that...Can he? He is gay..but... He only thinks of me as a friend and once again! that made me sad! I went home that day very worried and fell asleep from exhaustion.

-Dave-

I got home around 9pm or so and jake and Bro were there at the door waiting looking like two very upset and worried parents. something i never thought i see bro like that. Jake? sure. but Bro? No way. Bro yelled at me, actually yelled! it was so surprising because Bro never yelled and i mean never in the 13 years i had been with him had he yelled, He...He sounded like our dad, and that scared the complete shit out of me. "DAVE! WHAT THE HELL? WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?"

"Around." Jake looked like he was gonna fucking blow up. it was his turn now and damn it was scary.

"AROUND DAVID? AROUND! DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING WORRIED WE WERE?! JOHN SAID THAT HE HADNT SEEN YOU SINCE THIS MORNING YOU DIDNT BOTHER TO DO PESTER EITHER OF US OR EVEN CALL US! OR EVEN ROSE!" Jake looked so pissed, almost more than Bro if that was possible I was in deep shit. They yelled some more which the whole time I was trying not to shout back about how shitty i felt and all. but i did I yelled and i went up to my room like a really fucking stupid teen. "YEAH, I DIDNT CALL, OR PESTER, BUT I FELT LIKE SHIT! I FELT LIKE SHIT BECAUSE I PROBABLY MADE JOHN FEEL LIKE SHIT BECAUSE HE FELT LIKE HE WAS THE REASON I CUT! I COULDNT HANDLE THE FEELINGS I FEEL FOR HIM BECAUSE HE'LL NEVER LOVE ME THE SAME WAY. IM FUCKING SORRY."

I went up to my room and slammed the door and fell the fuck asleep.

 **Author's note: Okay. So i had a fun time writing this chapter! I also had help from my friend Evi. She's left 2 reviews and i kinda think she'll write a review on every chapter. She helped me edit this one and it was fun**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Saying as this has sexual content and...Like because I'm me, There will be like some thing of one of my kinks. because...Well fuck its how i write. So yeahhhh... Enjoy also long as fuck!**

-John-

I was still thinking about the hug, his features...the embrace of him...I felt my pants grew tight...oh god! I was hard. and I mean aching hard just thinking of him...I am starting to question my sexuality or if it was just...Dave...all I did was hug the guy too! I quickly locked my bedroom door stripped my pants and Boxers. I hopped on the bed and started rubbing my erection, God this was great, my mind began wandering to Dave..My mind wanted to reject the idea but damn did it help. I had seen Dave shirtless but never Have those things came into my mind while doing this until now. My hands were going faster down my length I started to moans Dave's name My length was throbbing under my hands, I pumped faster moaning daves name not caring if its what i truly felt, The image in my head of him sucking me off was hot I came as i basically screamed daves name. Good thing neither Dad or Jane was here they surely would have heard. I cleaned myself up and...Well since it was the weekend and I just masturbated to the thought of Dave, I needed to talk to Rose.

-EctoBiologist[EB] Began pestering Tentacletherapist[TT]-

EB: Rose, I need you.

TT: Yes?

I couldn't tell her I just masturbated to the thought of Dave! mmm Got it.

EB: i..think i like Dave.

TT: I thought so.

EB: oh,

TT: How long?

EB: i...i dont know. i mean..not long but...Something..It...got to me.

TT: It's because he told you he's gay?

EB: ...Yeah...

TT: Normal. You just didn't know if he would ever feel the same, correct?

EB: Well, yeah...

TT: John, Just do what your heart tells you. Your fears are surely silly, whatever they are.

EB: I guess...But rose...What does this mean? about my sexuality.

TT: Have you ever been attracted to a girl other than Vriska?

EB: Well...No.

TT: Have you showed attraction to other males?

EB: briefly... checking them out...but thats it!

TT: I believe you John. But...maybe it's time to be okay with being gay. I know you have nothing against that sexuality but...you should really consider it. okay?

EB: yeah..I will...well...What about my feelings for dave?

TT: Just, be yourself. He might be odd about his feelings John but Dave really cares about you.

EB: thanks rose! :B

TT: No problem though, you should hang out with Dave today. Okay?

EB: uhh okay.

-EctoBiologist[EB] ceased pestering TentacleTherapist[TT]-

I looked at Dave and Is' pesterchum he still hasnt answered me! all the worry came back. Oh my god Dave what the fuck, he answered me after i got done freaking out for the ten thousandth time.

-Dave-

I got up and honestly didnt give a fuck but egderp left me messages.

-EctoBiologist began pestering TurnTechGodhead-

EB: Dave! where are you!

EB: please tell me you are ok!

EB: dave please!

EB: dave...please...are you ok?...Im worried!

EB:daaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

-14 hours later on pesterchum-

TG: Bro, Chill im good.

EB: Dave! Oh my god! are you okay? I was so worried!

TG: yeah bro im good, no need to worry so much man.

EB: its hard not to when you just up and run away! dave what the fuck!?

TG: okay okay, yeah sorry, can i come over?

EB: yeah but im gonna hit you.

TG: reasonable On my way.

-Ectobiologist [EB] ceased pestering Turntechgodhead [TG]-

I headed out after dodging Bro and Jake, and then texting them i was out at johns. I knew john was gonna be pissed but when i got there his pale face was full of anger and worried he punched my gut, (caught me off guard) and then hugged me...

"whoa, bro, what the fuck?"

"Dave! what the fuck! I was worried!"

damn it. even angry he was cute in a terrifying way. His blue eyes sought anger and so much worry. It was adorable..

"Why are you smiling?!"

"Cause you look cute when you're angry"

He started to blush. God that was cute! He tried to hide it, and he looked away.

"Dave..Im not cute."

"Yeah bro, you kinda are." My heart was beating so fast, Im sure he could hear it. He looked at me again...I..i couldnt help myself. I bent down to him and softly kissed his lips they were so soft it was the best thing I ever did, I regretted it as soon as i stopped. I pulled away and he looked so shocked...

"Dave.." His beautiful eyes...were wide and full...

"Sorry, I should go." I...what the fuck dave? i thought to myself, You stupid dumbfuck! just stupid stupid stupid! I started heading for the door and he took my arm.

"Dave, Please, stay?" I couldnt, I...what would he say? fuck. I just...I pulled away from him.

"Im sorry John, I have to go." once out of his grip I took my leave fast almost running out of his neighborhood. As I was running I heard him calling my name "Dave!" "Dave please!" That made me run faster. once I was out of his Neighbor hood I didnt waste a second to pester Karkat.

-TurntechGodhead [TG] began pestering CarcinoGeneticist [CG] at 13:43-

TG: Karkles, I got a problem.

CG: WHAT NOW?

TG: i may have kissed john.

CG: ...WHAT...

TG: i may have kissed john.

CG: WHY WAS IT A SURPRISE? OR SOME FUCKING SHIT LIKE THAT?

TG: well..to both of us yeah.. I didnt see myself going over there like"hey, lets go kiss john then run as fast as i can to get the hell out."

CG: YOU RAN. AGAIN? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU DUMBFUCK.

TG: i dont know. he..was being angry and it was adorable, i couldnt help myself.

CG: WOW..UH AGAIN DAVE WHAT THE FUCK.

TG: karkat. i dont know. i want to be with him but...every time i get close to something like this or do it i shutdown and i cant handle shit.

CG: WELL...YOU NEED TO OPEN UP MORE WITH HIM, YOUVE KNOWN HIM FOR WHAT? SINCE 1ST GRADE?

TG: well yeah, but...ive also liked him since 4th, karkat...i just...dont know anymore.

CG: TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL! DAVE ITS SIMPLE, IT MIGHT BE SCARY BUT ITS SIMPLE.

TG: ...ugh. I guess i can tell him over pesterchum its easier.

CG: OKAY WELL I HAVE TO GO KANKRI IS LECTURING ME...AGAIN BYE FUCKASS.

TG: bye karkles.

-TurntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering CarcinoGeneticist [CG] at 13:58-

-john-

He kissed me. he kissed me, and then left. Oh my god. why didnt i kiss him back Oh my god egbert you dumbass

I needed rose. Again,

-EctoBiologist [EB] began pestering TentacleTherapist [TT] at 13:34-

EB: Rose.

TT: Yes John?

EB: Dave kissed me.

TT: Wow. so soon? I thought he would take forever.

EB: what?

TT: John, Dave is in love with you.

EB: ...Wow. How long?

TT: He told me he's liked you since 4th grade.

EB: wow. really?

TT: Yes.

EB: I didnt kiss back.

TT: Why not?

EB: I was shocked. he kissed me and left, i tried to get him to stay but... he wouldnt.

TT: Talk to him. He needs you.

EB: okay. bye!

TT: Bye John.

-Ectobiologist [EB] ceased pestering TectnecleTherapist [TT] at 13:46-

I cant believe this...I began pestering Dave as soon as I got done with rose. I doubt he would answer though.

-EctoBiologist [EB] began pestering TurntechGodhead [TG] at 13:47-

EB: Dave, Rose told me.

EB: We need to talk.

EB: Please Dave,

EB: about everything. the kiss, our feelings.

EB: talk to me dave. please.

-TurntechGodhead [TG] began pestering EctoBiologist [EB] at 15:02-

TG: John..

EB: Dave!

TG: Im sorry.

EB: Why?

TG: I..i dont know why i did this.

EB: dave...what did you do?

TG: ..I think Im gonna pass out.

EB: No! dave what the fucking hell did you do?!

TG: Get Bro.

EB: DAVE! WHAT DID YOU DO!?

-turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering Ectobiologist [EB] at 15:15-

oh my god. I ran downstairs and told dad i'd be back. I took the car and got to daves as soon as i could i ran into the door, Dirk looked at me like i was insane.

"Dude. what the fuck?"

four things went through my mind wheres dave what did he do and i hope hes not dead. oh my god, what if hes dead.

"Wheres dave?"

"His room..why? what happened?"

I ran to his room Jake and Dirk right behind me when the door was locked I was so worried I kicked the door in with all the worry i had. Jake and Dirk looked stunned. I didnt even know i had that much strength. i looked down on the floor and Dave was passed out he had a knife in his hands and his wrist was bleeding so much. I started to sob. Dirk told me to leave and i wouldnt he soon made jake drag me out of his room, i was sobbing my eyes stung and jake tried to calm me down All his attempts were futile. before i knew it we were in the hospital and i was still sobbing. Jake just wouldnt stop trying to get me to calm the fuck down but even after the doctors told me he was going to be okay I was still crying my sentences were broken words trying to make sense. Dirk and Jake took me to his room knowing i wouldnt leave. they called Rose to try to calm me down she tried everything, I dont think i stopped until he came to about 3 hours later.

"Ngh.." he made a sound i got up and ran to his bed

"Dave? dave! please talk again."

"John?"

"yeah, its me, im john."

"okay, john?"

"yeah dave?"

"I love you."

my heart swelled, i was about to sob again when i said

"I love you too."

Jade squealed and Rose had to calm her down, she was stilling smiling like a crazy person when dave started to sleep again. I was there even after everyone left. I didnt, no i couldnt leave him, we still needed to talk. about 4 hours later with no sleep on my part he woke up again, this time more conscious.

"Hey John."

"Dave!" I ran over to hug him. he looked happy for a split second before his red ruby eyes turned to a melancholy maroon.

"I'm sorry John."

"It's okay, You're okay, its okay."

"You said you loved me." I didnt think he would remember that my face was full of red hotness i could feel it. He smirked once he saw the blush too and i looked away. But almost as i did his shaky hand took my chin and moved my head back so i was looking at him.

"Yeah. You said you loved me too."

"I know."

His ruby eyes were sparkling and he looked so good, I bent down to him and kissed him. His lips were chapped, He licked my lips and it took me a minute before i realized what he wanted...I opened my mouth and granted him access his tongue darted in and it felt weird but it was nice, our tongues danced together until he broke the kiss. I looked at him and smiled.

"Egderp, you might be cute but you gotta work on your kissing." He smirked and chuckled a little.

"Oh shut up." he laughed even more and took me into another kiss this time there was no tongue, he was only showing me how much he wanted this and waited for it, he waited years, and years of pent up love finally spilling. He pulled away.

"I love you John." he looked so sincere and sweet. His eyes were still visible.

"I know, I love you too Dave."

-Dave-

I felt like flying. I might've been in a hospital bed, but i was flying sky high on his i love you's and kisses. I waited so long for him. And the wait was worth everything I was feeling right now. I looked at the time, it was around 8 am he was in my bed with me we were talking about our feelings and the cutting, our kisses and each other. I'd never felt more open with him, let alone anyone, even Rose, this felt great.

"Dave,"

"Hm?"

"Why did it take so long to tell me how you felt or that you were gay?"

by this point I didn't even care that I didn't have my shades on.

"Because i was afraid. You always said you weren't gay, and that maybe once you knew, even though i knew deep down you wouldn't care i was always afraid." my eyes were spilling tears as he cuddled to me. "As for telling you that I had feelings for you? well, for one, I was still afraid of the gay thing, and well, i thought if i lost you as a boyfriend, I'd probably lose you as my best bro too." He looked up at me and kissed me hard and deep, I tried to look for a meaning to this but i couldnt. he pulled away too soon and he looked up at me.

"Dave, I will always be Your best bro, even if we as a couple cant work out...I love you in two ways. And both of them will always bring me back." His sapphire eyes were full of love, his bucked teeth were smiling wide and i went to kiss him again. He kissed back and I felt my hand go to his ass and squeeze, He squeaked but went back to kissing me, his hands were all over my body, as he got to my hair he stopped kissing me on the mouth and began on my collarbone, god he was good at this, my throat rumbled a low moan and he stopped. he looked at me with lust and happiness as he went back marking my neck i kept moaning and my hands were running over his hips, he kept kissing my neck and collarbone and damn i needed him, i bucked up creating friction and he moaned my name "Dave~" that got me going I moaned more and while we were in a heated make-out I heard a gasp from the door. Apparently so did John he stopped immediately and got up fast, I looked to see where the gasp came from and to a surprise it was Karkat.

"oh, hey karkat" John said his face was redder than I have ever seen it. and it was Hot.

"God, I leave you both alone for a day and you are both getting ready to fuck in a hospital bed." He looks so angry but a bit of pride was shot my way. "But it's good to see you nooksniffers got together finally."

"Thanks Karkles."

"But I'm still pissed at you Dave."

I was almost going to say why when i remembered the reason i was stuck in the hospital.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" He was angry more than usual. and He's pretty cute when he's just being him but this was full out rage that was scary. "YOU COULDVE DIED DAVE! DIED! NO COMING BACK! DO YOU REALIZE THIS?"

I looked down at my lap. I knew he was right but, The last few hours were more heaven I could've asked for.

"You mean I'm not dead? So you mean to say the heaven i was in before you came in was real?"

I looked at John and his face grew redder if it was even possible.

"Yes fucknut, Im saying that, BUT YOU STILL COULDVE DIED!"

"Chill Kitkat, I'm fine," He looked pissed but he calmed down.

"Bring anybody else?" John asked.

"yeah, I brought everyone." as soon as he said that they all started piling in my medium hospital room.

"Oh, Hey Guys." They all looked worried but as soon as i said that they all smiled in relief, John looked even redder They all heard that conversation and he knew it. Jade laughed at John's blush.

"Sorry for being a cock-block." Jade giggled.

"It's fine Jade," John muttered making jade squeal and laugh.

We all talked for a while none of them mentioned what I had done as they knew I would hear it from Dirk and Jake. They left after about 2 hours of catching up with everyone. when they left John shut the door and looked at me.

"um..Now what?" I knew what.

"Come here and kiss me." i said and he blushed but listened, as he got closer I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him down kissing his neck and collarbone as he was to me earlier he moaned softly and i lifted his shirt halfway before he stopped me.

"What?"

"I..I dont like my body" this made me sad.

"But I love it...it's sexy, just like the rest of you." he smiled and let me take his shirt off he was so sexy, he had some muscle on his torso and his arms were just the same, he wasnt buff and . he wasnt weak, It was amazing. but i noticed something on his stomach that made it hard to not stare, he had a scar that trailed from his navel to his hip, I traced it and he flinched.

"Whats this?" I asked.

"i..did it."

"why?"

"I told you...I dont like my body."

I kissed him hard and deep my hands were running up and down his sides going into his pants and he froze.

"Dave..are you sure?"

"I've been sure since 9th grade." god that sounded desperate. But it was true. he nodded and began kissed me more. My hands started unbuttoning his pants and he was breathing hard when the door opened again.

"Fuck" I breathed rolling my head back. John looked sad as well, but the embarrassment won over. this time it was Dirk and Jake, Dirk looked at us and smirked. Jake looked stunned. and John...Poor john, he was trying to get his shirt on fast and button up his pants.

"Oh my God Dave. Wow." Dirk said laughing.

"Brooo what the fuckkkk" I whined.

"Oh shoosh, You'll be able to get him in a couple hours."

"Uhh..so...yeah.." poor John.

Jake starts laughing at Johns Awkwardness and Johns hiding his face in my chest muttering

"next time you are getting undressed first." and its loud enough for jake and dirk to hear, they laugh and I chuckle softly, "Yeah, okay."

"I am guessing this isnt the first time you've been caught trying?"

I sighed as jake's question

"First time it was Karkat and our friends." I thought Dirk was going to die laughing.

"shut up!" John said, poor boy was so embarrassed. I hugged him and Dirk stopped.

"Sorry Egbert, but Wow. we'll let you get dressed well be back in a couple minutes. No quickies" he left with jake and laughing all the out the door shutting it behind him.

"I'm sorry Babe..."

"No. its okay..That's what we get for trying to fuck during visiting hours." He gets his shirt on and starts buttoning his pants and I just start at his junk which is easier with my shades that are now on my face. too bad he catches this.

"Dave, Stop..." he bends down to kiss me softly, "Soon" he says as he puts my hand on his said junk, god fucking damn it. He is such a tease.

"You tease!" i say and he laughs.

"Jake, Dirk, you can come back in" he says once he's dressed. they come back in and dirk starts out.

"Dave, You know you could've died." i sigh here we go. at least i have john next to me.

"Yes, i know."

"Then why?"

"I...dont know."

"You know perfectly why, tell me" he growls.

"It's stupid. Everything that i did like that was for stupid reasons!"

"W-was...it because o-of me?" john asks sadly.

"I..."

"Dave.."

"I'm sorry." He hugs me and once he pulls away he's crying silently. I cup his face and wipe his tears.

"It's okay John, I was just afraid, I was always afraid.."

"No, No more being afraid!"

"I know. I'm not anymore. I have you." I kiss his forehead and turn back to Dirk and Jake who look like they just watched the sappiest movies ever, because we were sappy as fuck, But i figured if this is what it took then I was fine with it.

"Dave, Don't EVER do anything like that again! if you are in the hospital again from a self-harm. I'll never leave you alone, not even with john. or to sleep." Wow. Dirk was taking this to the extreme. I nodded and sighed they left and john looked so fucking unhappy.

I got undressed quickly taking the hospital clothes off, he looked at me stunned.

"Lock the door."

"Dave, T-they dont lock hospital rooms"

"figure something out."

I watched him get a chair and put it under the handle, he came back and took his shirt off at the end of the bed, i realized he was strip teasing, this was so unlike him but he was so dorky doing it I couldnt help but try and get myself off to him, he saw this and stopped me. gently brushing his hand against my member while going back to taking off his pants slowly and being horney as fuck I moaned his name as he slipped his pants off and pulling his boxers down exposing his hard member. He walked over to me and ran his hands over my body, first at my chest to my nipples he squeezed one experimenting with my body and i moaned he smirked and i was panting hard, he took off my shades and i knew what my eyes looked like they were filled with lust and excitement, got on the foot of the bed he went up to kiss me and started kissing me down to my nipples he was sucking them and i couldnt handle the moans, they spilled out one after another moans of his name _"John...mm" "Ohh johnn"_ He looked at me and smirked, god he was trying to be sexy and he was just being more of a dork and this is what got to me I moaned as he got to my member.

"Dave...You're so big" he smirked and before i knew it he was sucking me off, i looked down and his eyes were on my face I couldnt help but moan at his small face taking all of me.

 _"Ohhh john, oh fuck."_

My moans must've made him moan because there's a vibration coming from his mouth right to my dick, and damn.

 _"John! oh fuck yes john ohh god"_

He stopped for a quick second and i feel his dick right next to mine, he's jerking us both off in one hand and I start moaning loud.

 _"John! Ohhhhhh God!"_ Now he's moaning my name is breathing hard and panting I take over for him so he can enjoy some. hearing him moan my name could make me come hard.

 _"Dave! Oh please don't ohhh god pleaseee fuck..."_ He keeps moaning and its hard to hold back "John... I cant.." he whispers into my ear and thats all it takes "Come on Dave. Come."

"fuuuck john god" I came and soon after so did he. we collapsed on the bed and he looks at me with that bucktoothed smile, he kissed me and he cleaned us up I got the hospital clothes back on and he took his sweet ass time getting dressed teasin me even more! When he got dressed we cuddled for a little bit.

"Dave.."

"Hm?"

"That was amazing." i smirked when he said this. I whispered in his ear,

"Just wait until I'm out of the hospital. I can't dominate you very well here but soon you'll be the one moaning for me not to stop."

He gulped and kissed me, "Can't wait." He smiled and pulled away.

"waiiittt noooo"

"Dave, I have to go home for a little bit."

"Nooo stay with me, i wanna cuddle..." I was pouting and being childish but i wanted him to stay.

he laughed and said "Dave, I'll be back. I promise." He smiled and kissed me then left. i looked at my phone and saw i had missed text messages.

 _From: Karkles._

 _HEY FUCKER, I KNOW YOU AND JOHN ARE PROBABLY FUCKING RIGHT NOW BUT I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW IM GLAD YOUR OK._

 _To: Karkles_

 _Haha, thanks Karkat._

 _From: Jade_

 _Hey Dave! Im so sorry we were cock-blocking you for 2 hours! hehe :B_

 _To: Jade,_

 _Its cool Jade, I made it up to him ;)_

-John-

Wow.

That was great. He was so..hot. and..i..was..making those noises happen. and he said he would dominate me...oh that was a hot mental picture. I told him I had to go home for a while but really I just went down to the first floor and texted Jade back.

 _From: Jade_

 _sooooo how did it go?_

 _To: Jade_

 _Hot as hell_

 _From: Jade_

 _squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ahhhhh was it rough?_

 _To: Jade:_

 _Nope. It was sweet and hot as fuck it was so amazing!_

 _From Jade:_

 _hehehe! You have to tell me everything when we get back to school! okay?_

 _To Jade:_

 _Yeah, okay bye!_

 _From Jade:_

 _Bye!_

I went back to his room and he was totally spaced out, his shades were off and he was smiling with his eyes closed. I layed down next to him and i felt his arms wrap around me and he whispered "I love you John" in my ear and I told him I loved him too. we fell asleep cuddling.

 **Author's Note: Here's Chapter 4!**

 **Im sorry it was so late but I only have time on Weekends! So weekends will be a new chapter! I wanted to make them go on a little longer struggling but i really couldnt! andddd i needed an excuse to write smut! hehe, thanks for reading! 3**


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